Adventures in Diaper Cream (take 2)

In the interest of saving my sanity (and personal space) I have been working on having the two toddlers nap in the same room for the last few weeks. It had been going pretty well. They usually play for a half an hour or so, read each other books, and when I creepily tell them (through the monitor I am spying on them with) to turn off the lights and go to bed they listen. I do wonder what they think is happening when all the sudden my voice comes out of nowhere and I apparently can see everything they are doing.

Today something different happened. I put the kids down and they both yelled they needed to “go potty” 5 minutes later. Since we are encouraging potty training I went upstairs and brought them to the potty. One adult size poop (thankfully in the toilet!) from one child and pee from the other one and then they were back to bed… And immediately into the toys when I shut the door. I went downstairs with my monitor for some toddler TV, but then Catriona woke up and needed my attention. During that brief 5 minute period when I was taking care of Catriona the terrible twosome opened up a dresser drawer and found a forgotten tube of diaper cream from when they were babies. I got Catriona settled and then tuned back into toddler watching. Liam was sitting on the bed talking to The Bean. He appeared to be rubbing his belly which I though was a little odd, but the video was too grainy to see exactly what he was doing so I zoomed in. That’s when I saw it… There was a tube in his hand. I ran up the stairs with agility I did not know I still had and found Liam covered from head to toe in diaper cream. The nice thick white stuff with lots of zinc in it that barely comes off a babies bottom when you wash it. It was in his hair, on his arms, nicely coating his stomach and (Thank God) not anywhere near his mouth or eyes. The Bean had one little dollop on her dress, but otherwise was clean.

I grabbed Liam and the tube and rushed downstairs. My husband, who was lounging on the couch having recently returned home from the store, took one look at him and helped me get him stripped and in the tub. He washed the diaper cream off of Liams body with soap and a wash cloth while I stripped The Bean and took a baby wipe to clean off the minuscule (in comparison) spot on her arm. Liam started screaming. There is nothing the child hates in the world more than getting his hair washed and daddy was trying to really scrub out the diaper cream. We tried every shampoo, conditioner, and Internet remedy I could quickly find that we had supplies for in the house (which mostly centered around vinegar and lemon juice as we did not have any Dawn soap). Nothing worked. We just ended up making dread locks with his hair from all the scrubbing. So my husband hopped into his sandals and drove down to the nearest store to pick up a razor to cut his hair with. Once he returned we gave Liam his first buzz cut. He loves it. I want to cry for the loss of his hair. He now has less hair than what he was born with.

They never did get their nap, but I got a whole extra load of laundry to do (thanks kids)!